words from the ASD camp

Some phrases that my son has come up with that I found cute.

"This is boring!" said when given clothes for a present.

"I'm trying to ruin my childhood" said when talking about watching an old TV show of his.

Getting what they what.

As the holidays approach I consider how I have gotten presents. I have developed a simple equation to get the thing they want: love-3 years. Look at what they are passionate about and when look at "age appropriate" items minus 3 of their physical years. Most times it works. As he gets older the minus years gets a little larger. At this point we are still holding strong at minus 4 years! My son, being on the ASD spectrum will tell everybody information on what he is into. We have been able to take that passion and convert it into gifts for him. We can get toys, and now days video games and movies.
What has been your strategies for purchasing gifts?

The wish to be normal

There are times when I sit and wonder what it would be like to have 2 "normal" children, instead of just one. My younger son's only issue is a mild does ADHD, and what teen does not have that! There are many things about my older son that I would like to wish away. Having a Developmental Disability is no easy thing. There are many ways my life would be different if he was normal. I would not have to struggle with a system that is underfunded. I would not have to adjust my work so I can be home for him. He would be able to handle his own responsibilities without my constant supervision. The behaviour would just be teenage hormones. On the other hand I would loose his innocence and ability to forgive. The naivety that will always be there. There is many times I would not have things other than they are. Life is what you get from it. I would never have the awareness of disabilities if it were not for my special boy!

Arguing with a wall

Special needs kids are known for their inability to accept change. It is like stubborn times 100! Many times there is a battle to do any change. You learn to pick the battles you would like to win. The battles that will bring change for their own good!! Sometimes the battles is not on change but for them to do something they don't want to. Like doing chores around the house. What can you do???

We have learned to use reward system. Points for doing what you are told. Extra points if only ask once! After so many points you win. Most times its money to go spend or save. Sometimes its extra treats.

What's the system you use? What works for you??

Always listen

My son turned to me the other day, and told me quiet calmly that his pills are not working. Of course I made an appointment with the doctor and we looked at what he is taking. Then made adjustments accordingly. When he is not well I also listen to what he has to say. The moral is to always listen to what your child has to say and follow up after words.

Coping Strategies

Here are some strategies to dealing with the '"special child".

1) Play-can be both an escape and a way to verbalize feelings. Play can also help with educational learning.
2) Minimize sensory output-have an area where you cane eliminate or minimize noise and lights. Even if it is just dim the lights, have a nice blanket, or a stuffed animal to hold. Even if it a large blanket they can cocoon in, have some way they can eliminate all noise.
3)Let out the frustrations-have some way they can let go of their frustrations. My son likes to take 5 deep breaths. If he is very angry he will let it out on a large stuffed bear.
3)explain change-when there is a change in the routine explain what they change is. Also try to put a benefit the change will have. Have them try and find a good meaning in the change. Give a treat to survive the change.
4)accept the person-accept all the good and bad in your child
5)be consistent-use the same techniques in all the things you do

All those wounderful tests

As you are going through the diagnosis phase you are hopeful that the results come from science. The reality is that at most it is a guessing game. The expects have behavioral checklists they go through to get a diagnosis. Some of these tests are even available online for you to self-take. With all the extra information out there it is hard to trust the experts. Especially when you feel like you know you're child better than anyone else. With that in mind how can you trust the system fully?
As I went through the process I found that combining my knowledge with the experts was the key. You don't understand what the expert is saying look at medical journals. Ask questions and find the answers in all sources. It always helps to get second and even third opinions.

What for you was the scariest part of going through diagnosis?

Words from the autistic child week1

Here is this weeks phrases that come right from my son:

"I need to spread my wings" said after we grounded him from the tablet and he wanted to watch videos.

You never know what you'll get

When you're child is a teen you never know if it is the teen-brain that is dominate or the other part. It makes it hard to determine if the behavioural problem is "out-of the ordinary". Many times I find myself looking back at the behaviour and realizing that is more of a teen than Autism. Then it makes you question on if there is a need of a change in the medication. However, there is certainly no medication for a teenager just behaving like they do.  I find I have to choose my battles more carefully, listen a lot, and role with the punches.